Grits and Greens

Bravo's "Top Chef" judges hate the South, as Sandee from Georgia was let go on the latest episode. This comes on the heels of the dismissal of Ol' Clay from Columbus, Mississippi. What the hell, y'all? Oh yeah, Sandee made some something that sounded disgusting.
Sandee, or Ol' Bad Mohawk as she will hence be known, lost a barbecue challenge,as did some cat from Texas! How in the hell can you be from the South and lose a barbecue contest? If you're Ol' Bad Mohwak, you make something called "lobster poached in vanilla-butter with dates." What the f@#k?!
It's not all OBM's fault as the contest was called an "upscale barbecue elimination challenge." Leave it to those sum' bitches at Top Chef to mess up barbecue.
We love barbecue down this way, but poaching is not barbecuing, it's poaching...cooking something in a shallow liquid. Even if you do this over over coals on a grill, it's still not barbecuing.
Anyway, Salman Rushdie's wife and that chick from Canada and Chef Tom and some other asshole had a field day over her dish and in the end, Salman Rushdie's wife told her to "pack her knives and leave," the "your fired" of Top Chef.
OBM currently resides in Miami and I suppose that she should stay there, as she would surely be run out of Georgia for such a culinary travesty.

It's barbecue--it is what it is. To me, an upscale barbecue means that someone stayed up all night slow-smoking a beef brisket. Sometimes in the South they ask if "you want slaw with that?", and that is as upscale as it needs to be.