Grits and Greens

Gwoemul, or The Host, as it is known in the U.S., is by far the best movie that I have seen in a long time, especially of the horror/sci-fi genre. Made in South Korea by Joon-ho Bong, is the monster movie that I have been waiting to see for a long time.

The story is simple, a doctor pours some chemicals into the river and a giant tadpole is spawned. Of course the tadpole is two stories tall and has a taste for human flesh and destruction. The creature is also quite an achievement in movie monsters--it looks amazing, moves quickly and is quite smart.

The movie itself is also a huge "f#$@ you" to the constant power struggle between the North Koreans and the U.S., much in the same fashion as Japan's Godzilla. But this is no Godzilla--this is a much scarier creature than Godzilla.

According to IMDB, an American version is going to be released in 2008, which is probably going to suck. I don't mean to sound negative, but I'm fine with the original. I like my Hie-bong Bye0n; I don't need a Wilson or Denzel or Will Smith to mess it up. The only way it could work is if it is helmed by James Gunn, Darren Aronofsky, Bryan Singer, Christopher Nolan or possibly M. Night---other than that, it's will probably be a bust.

See The Host now while it still kicks ass. That way, you can be a snob when it comes to a megaplex near you directed by some asshole that didn't quite get it---you can say, "The original was much better." You more than likely will not be lying.

Ok, so, LolliLove came out in 2004 and I just now saw it, but let's just say that it never showed at the big whoopity-doo theater in Tupelo, MS. However, it has lost none of its punch nor snarkiness over the past three years.

The film, co-written and directed by Jenna Fischer, stars Fischer and her real-life husband, James Gunn as real-life couple Jenna and James Gunn, who are on a mission to help the homeless--one lollipop at a time. Shot as a documentary, LolliLove skewers non-profits, celebrity philanthropy and America's attitude towards the less-fortunate. The film focuses on the Gunn Family and their decision to help others, namely the homeless in LA, buy distributing suckers with self-help slogans and Jame's art neatly placed on the wrapper.

Although this may sound far-fetched, believe me, as someone who has worked with and for non-profits and is in the process of doing another benefit (questions? email me at gritsandgreens@gmail.com), it's not--many times, people do not think when it comes to helping others. In a recent conversation regarding a proposed benefit for Habitat For Humanity, my idea was chastised and instead, my efforts "should be put towards the Humane Society." What the f$#@?!! How are these things even remotely related? One houses people and one houses animals---how is this even relevant? Don't get me wrong, I love animals---I love barbecue, bacon, catfish, fried chicken, etc. No, I am compassionate towards animals, but I'm trying to help people get homes. No cause is greater than the other, but my heart is in helping other people---does that make sense?

Many times, especially in Hollywood--and every city that has a life and style section in its newspaper, which translates to everywhere, people do the charity to make the papers, a point that LolliLove drives home in the hilarious third- act of the film, which finds James yelling "These f@#$%ing people!" after an unpleasant run-in with a homeless man. Amazing!!!

Lollilove is a rare piece of art that has way Moore of an impact than more provocative and commercial documentaries floating around Hollywood. Order it from Netflix today.

Good for ridin' the back roads of Smithville, MS. While in Smithville, try the Cashew Brittle at Custom Kandies and Nuts Shoppe (http://www.customkandies.com/).

1. BR549/Little Ramona's Gone Hillbilly Nuts
2. The Band with Emmylou Harris/Evangeline
3. Peter Frampton/Show Me The Way
4. Sebadoh/On Fire
5. Ryan Adams/Two
6. Jets To Brazil/You're Having The Time Of My Life
7. Buck Owens/Love's Gonna Live Here
8. The Beach Boys/Good Vibrations
9. Bad Company/Shooting Star
10. Starbuck/Moonlight (Feels Right)

Starbuck

Dear Ms. Britney Spears,

Girl, you gots to hide that squirrel. Young lady, we are tired of seeing your woman parts all over the internet. I know that them camera folks follow you around and sometimes you get out of cars in a not-so-lady-like manner after drinkin' a six-pack of Schlitz and that's ok. That pantie-monster is your business and if you don't want to wear drawers, that's ok. But ma'am, we are really tired of seeing the ol' bald eagle. Hell, yesterday you even wore under-britches but you decided to jump in the ocean in a pair of white panties, and once again, your moose-knuckle smiled for the camera.
Baby, I get it---you like to show your privates. But them privates have gotten way too public.
Does Cooter Brown have her own publicist?
Your friend,
Lonesome Rhodes

Posh and Becks are here, y'all.

thanks to http://www.dlisted.com/

Transformers is the best popcorn movie of the summer, hands down. Pictured is one of the stars of the movie who magically transforms into a midget when the director, Michael Bay, yells "Cut."

It's about time that someone did.

From an Edwards email:

Thirty seven million Americans live in poverty—one out of every 8 of us. This is a national disgrace.

The millions of Americans who struggle with poverty are all but invisible to the media and to the power brokers in Washington, D.C. That needs to change. Starting today, I will be traveling on the Road to One America—visiting 11 cities in 8 states over 3 days to expose the problem of poverty and highlight our power to solve it. And I am asking you to join me.

Help me expose poverty in America. Send me a picture or a story about poverty you have seen or encountered.

Please send your pictures and stories to info@johnedwards.com.

For the next three days, you can also join me on the Road to One America by checking for the latest photos, videos and blog updates at:

www.johnedwards.com/road

As open letters are all the rage in Hollywoodland, Ol' Lonesome thought he'd try his hand at it.

Dear son of a bitch that sits beside me at the movies,

Fellow, Ol' Lonesome really, really likes going to the talking, indoor picture-shows. I like "Harry Potter" and "Spiderman" and "Macon County Line" and "Cannonball Run" and even "Wings Of Desire." But sir and, or madam, please don't talk on your cellular phone while I'm looking at a motion picture. Heck, it's just plain rude. Also, please don't be typing messages on your fancy typing phone blueberry machines while the movie is playing. Please......

Keep it up and you might just find yourself on the stinging end of an ass whoopin'.

Best Regards,
Lonesome Rhodes



That's me....lookin' mighty stern.

What's hotter than Dolly Parton mud-wrasslin' Barbara Mandrell? Well, not much, but the following come darn close:

HOT SNOT

1. Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman Vol. 1: Rent this NOW--quite possibly one of THE best shows ever. Mary Kay Place as Loretta Haggers...hell yeah!
2. Fish Tacos at Fajita Express Mesquite in Aberdeen, MS: We call it The Fajita Mosquito.
3. The Pierces/Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge: The only reason not to like this album is because you are an idiot.
4. The OC in reruns on SOAP: Now, you can hang with Seth and the gang everyday, which makes me believe there is a God.
5. Heroes AND Friday Night Lights on DVD August 28: Don't call me during September
6. Welcome Back Kotter reruns on ALN: Dude, they also show Chico and the Man AND Hill Street Blues!
7. The Residents/Eskimo: Art rock as it should be---cold and distant.
8. Paste Magazine--It just keeps on getting better
9. Nigella Lawson (Nigella Bites): It's like I'm going through puberty number two
10. The Dirt by Motley Crue: Read it again for the first time....
    

Cold Boogers:
The Smashing Pumpkins: Dude, it's 1995 again. Great! Now, leave me alone....
Gym Class Heroes: Fratastic!
Rolling Stone Magazine: Yawn.......
Posh and Becks

Thanks, Pat.
You helped make Mississippi a lot more beautiful.
1935-2007

I recently tried Pimpjuice (Xtra Strength flavored) for the first time and let me assure you that the energy beverage did nothing to improve my "pimp skills," whatever they may be. In all actuality, it was bright yellowish-green, the same shade as antifreeze, and it tasted like a melted orange Flav-O-Ice combined with one of those candies that comes wrapped like a strawberry and some crushed-up Flintstones Vitamins. After I recovered from the headache that came from being over-caffeinated and under-stimulated, I was severely depressed and I felt like ass. Pimps, playas, hustlers and nerds beware: Pimpjuicing ain't easy. Thanks for nothing, Nelly.



Reeses has introduced a limited edition "cup" entitled "Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Creme." As much as I love Elvis Costello, I decided to try one. Although I was not completely horrified, it was not an altogether pleasant eating experience. Basically, I like the Reeses cup that is Reeses flavored. I then was told that the item was named for Elvis Presley and that there was a marketing contest coinciding with the product called "Live Like The King." I have been fat and addicted to drugs for so long that the last person I want to live like is Elvis Presley. I have no desire to eat my peanut butter and 'nanner samiches while I'm trying to come down from Quaaludes and get up with amphetamines. Speed-balling has no place in the kitchen.........

Good night, Lady Bird.

Lady Bird Johnson
1922-2007