Grits and Greens

I recently tried Pimpjuice (Xtra Strength flavored) for the first time and let me assure you that the energy beverage did nothing to improve my "pimp skills," whatever they may be. In all actuality, it was bright yellowish-green, the same shade as antifreeze, and it tasted like a melted orange Flav-O-Ice combined with one of those candies that comes wrapped like a strawberry and some crushed-up Flintstones Vitamins. After I recovered from the headache that came from being over-caffeinated and under-stimulated, I was severely depressed and I felt like ass. Pimps, playas, hustlers and nerds beware: Pimpjuicing ain't easy. Thanks for nothing, Nelly.



Reeses has introduced a limited edition "cup" entitled "Elvis Peanut Butter and Banana Creme." As much as I love Elvis Costello, I decided to try one. Although I was not completely horrified, it was not an altogether pleasant eating experience. Basically, I like the Reeses cup that is Reeses flavored. I then was told that the item was named for Elvis Presley and that there was a marketing contest coinciding with the product called "Live Like The King." I have been fat and addicted to drugs for so long that the last person I want to live like is Elvis Presley. I have no desire to eat my peanut butter and 'nanner samiches while I'm trying to come down from Quaaludes and get up with amphetamines. Speed-balling has no place in the kitchen.........